Husband Material by Tope Olofin of Toperants.com

I read this post from toperants.com and immediately fell in love with it, which gave impetus to the idea to re-post it here for my readers. This lady is somebody I admire a lot. She's down to earth and a very creative and intuitive writer. Enjoy!

This one is on request and might be opinionated. If you don’t agree, you always have the comment box to air your views, but for the next five seconds or so give me some space to rant away my feelings on the subject that has been thrust upon me.

The newest student in my class had me proof read his latest write up “Wife Material”. I must confess, as I read it, I had to blurt out “we have our own list too”. As one of the commenter’s pointed out, we most certainly have a list and Oknuges, don’t you worry we also do our own fair share of discussions on what we look out for as ‘husband material’. Here are a few of them. 

To all the beautiful and hardworking ladies on my BBM (Blackberry Messenger), who won’t settle for anything less than the specifications on their list a big shout out to you. To all the ladies who decide to compromise just because they feel life is passing them by, oh well all the best and if there is any other group I missed out, ‘sorry’ will have to do. I am not a robot, so you don’t expect me to remember everything. 

Before I go on with the list, I just want to set the record straight. Contrary to the popular opinion of the male species we aren’t looking for a guy with a fat account to drain just for the fun of it. Mind you I am not saying we would mind if he has twice the cash, I am just saying that it isn’t top priority. Of course we would like him to be financially stable, but take note of the word “POTENTIAL”. He must have potential and we will be willing to grow with him.These are the things we look out for: 

•  He must be godly, God-fearing. Seriously, if you cannot lift me up spiritually, then I think it is better you just leave me in my father’s house, after all who wants an anti-climax after marriage? It is supposed to lift you innit? This goes first on the list of any female individual.

• Don’t be domineering. We recognized and accept the fact that our Creator made you the head of the home. We are willing to respect and even acknowledge that, but you need not remind us every five seconds. Afterall the Lion is the king of the jungle and he doesn’t remind the lizards about it every blessed minute.

• He must be respectful. I believe the common saying is “respect begets respects” if you demand it from us, I believe we would be better followers if we see you being an example. Don’t you know that when respect is showered on any individual, it gives the feeling that you are appreciated despite your short comings?

• It has been said that a confident man is a successful man. Confidence in most cases gets you the girl. The opposite of confidence is a big turn off.

• He must be responsible. That is the big elephant in the room. I am entrusting my life into your hands, you are taking over from where my family left off. So if that trait is lacking you can be certain that I won’t budge no matter your other credentials are. Actually this comes second.

• He must be sensitive and patient. It is known that a lady has seasons. Sometimes we nag (it is in our DNA), sometimes we are rude, naughty and get angry unnecessarily. It is not an excuse, but your ability to overlook it and treat us like you would treat your younger sister will endear you to us. In our silliness, be patient with us. If and when you do this, we will be willing to give an arm for you.

He must be TRUSTWORTHY, understanding, supportive, caring, intelligent, hardworking, and kindhearted. Please don’t stop me, because I intend to keep on going. Okay, my time is up, but it still doesn’t change the fact that we want it all. And yes we want him to be knowledgeable in other matters which I chose not to mention here. But since we do not live in a perfect world, we might settle for close to 90 percent. (You aren’t allowed to judge, afterall, that’s an A.)The point is we are looking for someone who we can be ourselves with. We want a friend.I agree that loneliness can be horrific, but let’s face it guys, you cannot do without us!!!